Cute Custom Cartel Curtains

Fine , Craig, you win! Curtains it is! Sorry it took so long, I can’t imagine what your poor, traumatized neighbours have seen in the meantime. And no, I don’t need photos to help me imagine, I’m just going to quietly back away from this sideline with our friendship still immaculately intact.

So, what can I say about curtains that you don’t already know if you’ve ever faked being an adult at any point in your life? Personally I hate curtain shopping, because let’s face it, curtains are boring as fuck. If you’re lucky you can find something un-offensively bland enough to not make you want to just lay down and wait for a nurse to give you a sedative and a tucking in that’s a tad too firm. And seriously, even I put mostly my staid, serious , grownup-hippie, neutral colour curtains here because that’s what Sherry said people need. And Sherry knows style, we never question Sherry, she is the style hitman in our Cartel.

But the good news is, that after showing Sherry 5000 sample patterns, she finally came to the genius idea that we should maybe just let people pick their own patterns, so that almost all out curtains will probably be unique. And I just love that idea, I love having one-of-a-kind things, maybe it’s a Deadhead trait, but dammit, I’m a special little flower that is unique and if I want my home to be as weird as me, who is going to stop me? The same person who is supposed to stop me from eating cake for breakfast or spending all my money on tickets? I outran him years ago and I’m not looking back.

I will try to add a link here for the larger photos of these samples, this site really limits how much data I can cram into each listing. Each of these patterns are also available in a wide range of colours, and as you probably already know, I really do have files with thousands of other patterns too, so if you already have one of my other patterns in mind, that’s cool too. Basically, if one of these doesn’t float your boat, shoot me a note and let’s see what does, I’m weirdly obsessed with patterns and I’m curious af, so I love this part.

Size: The curtains are 50 inches across if they were laying flat, (that’s 127cm for the rest of the world) by 63 inches long (160 cm) for the Small, or 50 inches (127cm) across by 84 inches (213 cm) long for the Large. And you’ll be getting 2 panels of that size, so that’s 100 inches (254 cm Canadian) straight across. Remember you want your curtains to ripple like the good chips, so when you’re measuring, add so ripple room which is anywhere from +60% of your curtain rod length to doubling it, depending on the fullness of your ripples. Personally I like a Ripple so full, you’d think the ghosts of both Jerry and Robert Hunter were sitting in for the encore.

Moolah: They’re $115 with shipping included for the first pair (2 panels), then $90 each for any additional pairs, for Smalls, and
$125 with shipping included for the first pair (2 panels) then $100 for additional pairs of Large curtains, because shipping is a bitch, in a non gender specific way. If I’m not on the road, I might be bored, hit me up, let’s play designer! Need more curtains than I left categories for? Hit me up, and I’ll fix that for you.

How to: Still here? You rock! When you order, add a message saying which design you like, or if you like one of the designs but want a different colour, or if you want to pick a whole different design, whatever, let me know, that’s what that little message box is for. Or we’re probably friends on FB or in real life, you probably already know how to get in touch with me, Craig. Don’t be shy, you know I’m not, we’ve all seen the photos.