The Bag O’Dicks Collection

Hi there! Do you like attention and/or want to keep people away from you? Have I got just the bag for you! Inspired by the Dick Dress, our darling friend Tammy had a lightbulb moment and asked me to make purses in that pattern and call them Bag Of Dicks. We just dropped the ‘f’, because have you seen how white that white dick is, it’s got to be Irish. And besides, when people see you with this bag, they’ll be dropping F’s too.

What will your mother say when she sees this? Well, my mother will want one. But her mother would have been appalled, publicly, then probably she’d have laughed her ass off once she was alone. We had always thought my grandmother had no sense of humour at all, until one day I overheard her in the next room laughing uncontrollably when I told my aunt a dirty joke. It just turned out we had been trying the tame humour on her all those years. So I think even she would get a chuckle out of these Bag O’Dicks.

Honestly, these dicks are disguised in such fancy patterns, (Cockoflauge? Copywrite Bear Cartel, 2022) that if someone took offence to them, you’d be able to say with a straight face, “Get your mind out of the gutter, Sigmund, I’m pretty sure those are Bones, wow, we can all really tell where your head is, ewww David!!” And you wouldn’t really be lying, would you, because bones are just one of the million and one euphemisms for dicks. Classy, slippery dicks, the best kind, am I right?

Some of these bags are just Bags O’Dicks, and others are Bags O’Dicks Featuring Papa Emeritus of Ghost. If you don’t know Ghost yet, get ready to hop back in time to an era when rock blasted from every K Car and guys wore as much hair aqua net as the ladies, when jeans were so tight they probably thought that was good enough birth control, and it was acceptable to wear pumps with frilly little socks. I think you’ll love them, give them a try and soon you’ll be singing along.

The Big Shoulder (or is that shoulder pads) Bag O’Dicks (top row) are $70 each,
The Not For Children Lunch Bag O’Dicks are $60 each, (2nd row), and
The 80’s Style, Definitely Not Hiding My In Drugs Here Officer Fanny Pack O’Dicks (And that’s new depths to plumb for nuggets there) are $55 each (3rd row), and
The Dick On Your Back Backpacks are $75 each (bottom row)

Shipping is included in the US and Canada, everyone else please message us for a quote